This morning was perhaps the worst Christmas morning I've ever had. I woke up missing Jessie like crazy; I just wanted her to be with me that morning. Then, I started thinking about something she told me when we spoke awhile ago. She has something to tell me, but can't tell me yet. The not-knowing was killing me, because it left me to speculate on the worst possible scenario. I found myself getting more and more emotional and angry. I prayed a bit and had to run back to my house to get my grandpa's Christmas gift. On the way back, I called her and we talked about it. I know she was just trying to protect me by not telling me, but it had the opposite effect. For me, it's better that I either know everything or know nothing. No gray areas, please.
After getting back home, opening presents with the family (my dad even brought my grandpa over. Sweet!) and having some breakfast, I started to feel better, especially after reading the card my dad gave me. I got to talk to both my parents about the situation and they helped me out a lot. I love them so much...
Bottom line...I'm not letting Satan steal my joy this Christmas. Jessie and I will deal with whatever this situation is when it's time. Until then, there's nothing I can do about it except pray. Why worry about it? Why fret? That will do nothing but destroy me and ruin what will be a wonderful reunion with Jessie when I see her in a few days. So I'm going to enjoy this time with my family, eat some fantastic food, and enjoy the day when we remember Jesus's birth. Thank you God for how you work!
1 comment:
I'm glad everything is good again.
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