Waiting

Here's a poem I wrote that captures how I've been feeling lately.

"Waiting - A Psalm"

Night falls and I cannot sleep.
Comfort is not found between the sheets,
And closing my eyes brings no rest.
This night, I am awake and watching.
Watching for that first light to break, for the darkness to retreat, for the shadows to scatter.
I watch and wait for the morning sun.
Since creation’s birth, the sun has always come, never late and never alone.
The sun brings the promise of a new day,
Of hopes fulfilled and of prayers answered.
The sun reveals what was concealed.

Oh Lord, this night, you are my sun and I wait for you.
I yearn to see what lies ahead, but all I see are unanswered questions.
In walking life’s path, sometimes I can’t see around the bend.
I’m afraid to turn the corner and come face to face with my own uncertainty.
But with you, Oh Lord, I have strength beyond strength.
With you, my God, I have sight beyond sight.
With you I will face the unseen.

You are coming, my God.
You are my morning light, always on time;
You scatter the darkness and shrink back the shadows.
I will face the night with renewed strength, for you are coming.
You are my strength and my might, my vision and my rest.
On you, my God, will I wait.

A Reflection on the 30 Day Paleo Challenge

When I first started this challenge 30 days ago, I knew that it would be good for me, but had no idea exactly what benefits I would be reaping. I didn’t know if I’d lose weight, be able to run faster, jump higher, lift heavier weights…I had no idea what to expect. Well, here’s what actually happened:

For the most part, I was very strict with my paleo eating. My meals consisted of meats, veggies, fruits and various nuts. For my breakfasts, eggs were my best friends. Pretty much every breakfast had some type of eggs, whether they were eggs I cooked at home, eggs that came from a pre-made 7-11 or Panera breakfast sandwich or eggs in an IHOP omelet. Eggs were ABUNDANT. And they were GOOD! Towards the end of the challenge, I started mixing in egg whites with my eggs, to add a little volume and cut out some fat. I’m pretty sure I’ll still do that in the future, although I have no problem with eating full eggs. I sometimes added veggies with the eggs when I cooked them myself, and towards the end I was even adding sausage to the mix. Whatever I did, I always had some fruit with my eggs. Yummy breakfast!

Lunches were all over the place. Depending on if I was home for most of the day or if I was working or if I had my trucks class, sometimes I ate pre-made meals from home and sometimes I ate out. When I did eat prepared meals, I had lots of veggies, maybe a little fruit and some type of lean meat. When I ate out, I always tried to get some meat and veggie combo and leave out the bread, cheese, beans or whatever other non-paleo food came with the dish. When I would find myself at Chipotle, I would get the salad with a meat, grilled peppers and onions, tomatoes and the other sauces (minus the corn). One time I ate at Taco Bell and the only thing I had was meat and lettuce!

Snacks consisted mostly of a piece of fruit and some nuts. I liked that as a snack and will continue this.

Dinner was pretty much the same as lunch…I ate well when I had full control over my meal and had to do some fancy improvisation when eating out. Nothing too crazy though…I just made sure I got plenty of meat and veggies and tried to leave out the rest.

I will admit there were a few times when I ate some things that the “caveman-ness” of the food was definitely suspect. Namely, one or two days I had some salad dressing with my salad (though I kept it in small doses). One day, I ate eggs with cheese in them (although I didn’t know they had cheese in them, to my discredit, I didn’t ask). Towards the end of the 30 days, I would put reduced sugar ketchup on some of my meat. While not keeping to the strictest standards of paleo, I ultimately don’t think they made that much difference.

Now for the benefits…the other day at work I got on the scale and couldn’t believe what it said. I normally fluctuate between 180 and 185lbs and have stayed in that range for years. YEARS. So when I looked at the readout of the scale, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing:

172lbs.

“What? Really?” I had to seek a second opinion. A few days later, I was working at another fire house and weighed myself there. 175lb. A little closer to what I was used to, but I was wearing lots of clothes. I would seek one more opinion. I went home and used Bryant’s electric scale, wearing only workout clothes. 172lbs! At a minimum, an 8 pound loss! It’s not like I was Crossfitting extra hard during this time…I was working out about once or twice a week with maybe another workout thrown in there somewhere. That’s the power of diet for you!

My energy level stayed pretty consistent throughout the day; I never felt any dramatic spikes or drops. Now there were several days towards the end that I had some SERIOUS cravings for burritos, pizza and sweets. I was proud of myself though and never gave in…even when I was at Sean LeFrance’s house with plenty of pizza, sweets and a meat and cheese dip that looked absolutely delicious. I’m proud to say I saw it through to the very end.

So the only question now is, where do I go from here? Well, to give you an idea, for lunch today I had a Chipotle burrito. Delicious, as usual, though I admit it did sit pretty heavy in my stomach. This was mostly to prepare for the chipotle burrito challenge I’ll be participating in with my roommates this upcoming Monday. I had some homemade cinnamon bun and store-bought ice cream at the firehouse. Overall though, I can honestly say that I don’t feel a huge desire to eat a lot of the junk that I had to cut out to do this challenge. I think I will continue to eat in the caveman tradition, but will have a designated “cheat day” once a week. I don’t want to completely give up Chipotle, or pizza, or some other various treats. I’m gonna play with my diet for awhile and find what works for me, so I can keep up my current body composition and physical fitness level.

All in all, I HIGHLY recommend the paleo diet. If you want to see just what it can do, take up the 30 day paleo challenge for yourself and see the results for yourself.

Paleo Challenge - Day 30

Wow...the last day! I will be writing a full entry on what I've learned throughout these past 30 days (a lot!). But until then, here's what I ate.

Breakfast
- 2 eggs
- 1 turkey burger mixed into the eggs
- Reduced sugar ketchup
- Apple
- Grapefruit

Lunch
- Chicken
Mixed veggies:
- Broccoli
- Carrots
- Onions
- Red peppers
- Sugar snap peas
- Water chestnuts

- Lime/chili cashews
- Orange

Snack
- Banana

Dinner
- Two turkey burgers (4 oz. total)
- Mixed veggies as listed above
- Grapes
- Lime/chili cashews

Snack
- Tangerine

Paleo Challenge - Day 29

Breakfast
- 2 eggs
- 1 egg white
- Andoulle Chicken Sausage
- Apple
- Orange

Lunch
Chipotle Salad:
- Double chicken
- Lettuce
- Green peppers and onions
- Tomatoes
- Green salsa
- Red salsa
- Guacamole

Snack
- Lime/chili cashews

Dinner
- Turkey burger
- Mixed veggies:
- Corn
- Carrots
- Broccoli
- Cauliflower
- Red peppers

Snack
- Lime/chili cashews

One more day!

Paleo Challenge - Day 28

Another day at work with tiller truck class. This day hasn't been so bad so far. We'll see what dinner brings.

Breakfast
- 1 egg
- 2 egg whites
- Jalapeno Chicken Sausage
- Strawberries
- Blueberries

Lunch
- Burger King mini-hamburgers (six of them...only ate the meat, no bun. They had some ketchup and mustard on them, as well as pickles. I wasn't sweating any of that stuff)
- Orange
- Banana

Snack
- Bag of mixed nuts and raisins

Dinner
- Meatloaf w/onions
- Corn
- Mixed nuts and fruit

Paleo Challenge - Day 27

Breakfast
- 2 eggs
- 1 egg white
- Jalapeno Chicken Sausage
- Apple
- Orange

Lunch
- Steak
- Mixed veggies:
- Broccoli
- Carrots
- Sugar Snap Peas
- Red peppers
- Onions
- Water chestnuts
- Lime/Chili cashews

Snack
- Lime/Chili cashews
- Apple

Dinner
- Shrimp Stir Fry:
- Shrimp
- Broccoli
- Sugar Snap Peas
- Water chestnuts
- Bean sprouts
- Red bell peppers
- Strawberries
- Blueberries

Snack
- Jalapeno Chicken Sausage
- Orange

Paleo Challenge - Day 26

Been home most of the day, so eating went well. No ill effects from the cheese last night (though my stomach was hurting a bit yesterday).

Breakfast
- 1 egg
- 2 egg whites
- Andoulle Sausage
- Onions in the eggs
- Banana
- Strawberries
- Blueberries

Lunch
- Steak
- Mixed veggies:
- Broccoli
- Carrots
- Cut Baby Corn
- Water Chestnuts
- Mushrooms
- Sugar Snap Peas
- Red peppers
- Onions
- Lime/Spicy Cashews

Snack
- Banana

Post work out drink
- Water
- Lemon juice
- Lime juice
- Agave nectar

Dinner
- Andoulle Sausage
- Four pieces of steak
- Mixed veggies mentioned above
- Cashews

Paleo Challenge - Day 25

Working in the firehouse day. It's sunday, so we're doing breakfast. I brought some of my own food, so that combined with some selectivity in dinner and lunch should make for a good food day.

Breakfast
- 2 eggs
- 2 egg whites
- Jalapeno Chicken Sausage
- Pineapple
- Banana
- Orange

2nd Breakfast
- Eggs
- Bacon
- Chicken bacon
- One sausage patty
- Strawberries
- Blueberries

Lunch
- eggs
- bacon
- mixed veggies:
- water chestnuts
- green beans
- broccoli
- a few other veggies

(I found out that the eggs had cheese in them. BOOOOO!!! I saw how the reintroduction of dairy affected me...my stomach was hurting for awhile. Interesting...)

Snack
- Jalapeno Chicken Sausage
- Apple

Dinner
- Chicken with fried onions
- Broccoli

Snack
- Strawberries
- Blueberries

Didn't end up being the great day I thought it would be for food...but lessons were definitely learned.

Paleo Challege - Day 24

I can't even tell you how much I was looking forward to breakfast this morning! We got in really late last night from Bola's party (about 2:30a) and I was ready to eat, especially after not having much for dinner except fruit. I was craving protein!!

Breakfast
- 2 eggs
- 2 egg whites
- Andoulle Chicken Sausage (trying a new kind...still yummy!)
- Banana
- Grapefruit

Lunch
Taco Salad from California Tortilla
- Lettuce
- Lean ground beef
- Diced carrots
- Tomatoes
- Cilantro
- Guacamole

snack
- banana

dinner
- chicken
- broccoli
- pineapple
- Pineapple
(This was very good! I may have to have this again.)

Paleo Challenge - Day 23

Wow, only one more week of this challenge! I've definitely learned a lot, but I'll go more into that on the final day.

Breakfast
- 2 eggs
- 2 egg whites
- Banana
- Grapes
- Onions mixed in with the eggs

Lunch
Shrimp Stir Fry:
- Broccoli
- Shrimp
- Sugar Snap Peas
- Water Chestnuts
- Bean Sprouts
- Red Bell Peppers

- Orange

Dinner (if you can call it that)
- Orange
- Banana
- Bag of mixed nuts and raisins
- Pineapple
- Grapes
We were at a birthday party with plenty of pizza, cake and this amazing-looking chip dip made from meat and cheeses. Yup...all stuff I couldn't touch. I was STRUGGLING! Oh, I did have some pepperoni from some of the pizza, but that's it!

Paleo Challenge - Day 22

Another day of trucks class and work = another day eating out. Booooo...at least breakfast was good.

Breakfast
- 2 eggs
- 2 egg whites
- pineapple
- orange

Lunch
Chinese Food
- Chicken
- Onions and cabbage, I think?
- Egg drop soup
I have no idea if egg drop soup is paleo. It's egg though...that counts, right?

Snack
- Lemon/lime cashews
- Orange
- Pineapple

Dinner
- Turkey sausage in tomato sauce
Salad with:
- Lettuce
- Spinach
- Tomatoes
- Cucumber

- Pineapple

The turkey sausage was served over spaghetti; I just threw away the spaghetti. The sausage was really good though; I may try and buy that sometime.

Moving the archives

Before my "Life in HD" days, my blogging career started on a website called livejournal.com. I originally used it to chronicle my time in the fire academy, and I'm happy to say I journaled every single day of the academy. I also included several significant (and not-so-significant) days after the academy was done.

Well, I don't want to lose that stuff, so I'll be starting the long process of cutting and pasting those posts from that website to this website (so for those few of you that actually read this thing, you'll have a lot more to read and get to have a blast from my past).

So bear with me, and keep on the look out...some new old posts are coming. ;)

Paleo Challenge - Day 21

Not a bad day of eating...getting stuck in terrible traffic coming home from chess club influenced me to stop at Qdoba. I SO badly wanted their queso burrito, but I was good and got the equivalent of a chipotle steak salad. Soon...burritos will be mine!

Breakfast
- 2 eggs
- 1 egg white
- Chicken Jalapeno Sausage
- Pineapple
- Orange

Lunch
- Lean beef burger with reduced sugar ketchup
Mixed veggies:
- Broccoli
- Sugar Snap Peas
- Carrots
- Lemon/Lime Cashews

Snack
- Apple
- Orange
- Lemon/Lime Cashews

Dinner
Qdoba steak salad:
- Steak
- Lettuce
- Tomatoes
- Grilled peppers and onions (I think there were onions)
- Hot and extra hot sauce
- Guacamole
- Lemon/Lime Cashews
I probably didn't need to eat any more cashews, but they're SO good!

Firehouse Life - A Crazy 18 Hours, Part 2

After our adventure with the 500lb man, we went back to the firehouse and slept for what little there was of the rest of the night. In the morning, I had to go to the training academy for more of my driver training class (I'm learning to drive the long tiller trucks, with a driver in the front and in the back). I felt like I was slowly getting better at driving these big monsters, so I was looking forward to a good day.

Part of the class is learning how to parallel park the trucks (something we'll probably never do in the field, but still it helps us understand how to maneuver the trucks better). I was driving the front portion of it and, with knowledge gained from watching other people do it, I felt like I could do it too.

I started backing in and the tiller man got his portion of the truck in the parking space. I slowly started to swing the front of the truck in as well. I lost sight of the front barrier of the parking space, but still thought I had enough room to swing in.

Turns out I thought wrong.

As I was swinging in, one of the guys in the class who was spotting us ran up to the front of the truck, hands waving and yelling, "Stop!" I thought that I had just miscalculated the angle at which I was coming in, so I pulled up and started backing in again. Then another guy stopped me and called over one of our instructors. At this point, I saw the guy and some other guys staring down at where the barriers were. "Uh-oh," I thought. "This can't be good."

Our instructor came over, looked at what the other guys were looking at and told me to shut down the truck. Really not good. I shut it down, got out and saw what they were staring at. Apparently, I had hit one of the barriers and dented it pretty good. However, in doing that, I had caused the front bumper of the truck to be bent a little bit. Ultimately, it was not a lot of damage. However, our county has had a lot of problems with apparatus drivers getting into accidents recently, so every accident, no matter how minor, has to be investigated. Next thing I knew, the entire class was put on pause, the driver trainer had to come out to investigate, pictures had to be taken of the damage, the safety chief had to come out and take a statement from me, I had to write a statement of what happened to the driver training coordinator and the safety chief, the police had to come out to file an accident report...utter craziness!

Had this happened a couple classes ago, I would have really been kicking myself, because then I was at the pinnacle of frustration with driving these trucks. However, that day I just shrugged it off. It's a training class...this is where we're SUPPOSED to make all our mistakes. Better I dent up a plastic training barrier than a $70,000 Mercedes, right?

In the end, pretty much everyone told me not to worry about it; these things happen and it's not that big of a deal. But they told me all that AFTER they got in some good-natured shots at me. Hey, this IS the fire department after all.

As the class wound down, I got one more shot of driving through the cone course and parallel parking. I did a lot better on the course, but still struggled a bit going backwards through the serpentine. After we finished the serpentine, we got to parallel park one more time. I gave it a shot, but still didn't do it right (but I didn't hit anything!). That ended the day on a frustrating note for me.

As the class ended, I had to go inside the academy and write a revised statement to the chief and driving coordinator, telling my story in a bit more detail. Then I headed home. Starting from Friday, I had had my driver's class from 8am to 3pm, had to work from 5pm to 7am Saturday, had to work from 5pm Saturday to 7am Sunday, had to work all 24 hours on Sunday, then had my class from 8am to 3pm Monday. I love my job, but at that point on Monday, I just wanted to go home and not even THINK about anything related to the fire department.

I got home, made some food, sat on my couch and just let out a big..."SIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHH"

Home Sweet Home.

Paleo Challenge - Day 20

Gonna be home today, but will also be out for lunch to meet with Lou. Still, healthy, Paleo choices will be made.

Breakfast
- Two eggs
- One egg white
- Jalapeno Chicken Sausage
- Apple
- Blueberries, strawberries, blackberries
- Lime/Chili Cashews

Lunch
Seafood Cobb Salad at Gordon Biersch:
- Shrimp and Crab meat
- Lettuce
- Chopped up egg
- Diced bacon
- Tomatoes
- Cucumbers
- Avocado slices
- Thousand Island dressing on the side.
I don't think Thousand Island is Paleo. Ah well.

Post workout drink
- Water with Lemon, Lime and Agave Nectar

Dinner
- Lean beef burger patty with reduced sugar ketchup
- Mixes steam veggies with Carrots, Cauliflower and Broccoli
- Lemon/Lime Cashews

Firehouse Life - A Crazy 18 Hours, Part 1

Drama, drama, drama...three words that describe the last 18 hours of my life in the fire department.

I was working at Burtonsville station 15 yesterday on a worksub for 24 hours. Not too bad, especially since I got assigned to ride the engine. Most of the day was fairly uneventful, until about 2am. We got a call for a patient who was having trouble breathing. When some of the guys running the call with us saw the address, they immediately knew who this patient was; they had run a call involving him just yesterday (and I believe the day before, too). They mentioned that this was a very large man...over 300lbs. In fact, when the call was dispatched, we were told the patient weighed approximately 500lbs! I've run some large patients before, but nowhere near 500lbs. Yikes.

We got to the address and the apartment was in total shambles; furniture was piled up everywhere and there was a mountain of clothes covering the dining room table. The patient's wife met us as we came in and led us to the back bedroom, where sure enough, there sat a very large man on a chair. I don't know about 500lbs, but he was easily 350. He told us that his left foot was infected and very swollen. He had just taken some anti-biotics and feared that they might be causing his difficulty breathing. He had just been to the hospital yesterday and was extremely resistant to going back. After some reasoning from one of our medics and the captain, he decided to go back to the hospital. Compared to what came next, that was the easy part. Now we had to figure out how to get him out of there.

When the Burtonsville crew ran him the other day, they got him to walk to the ambulance. Because of the pain in his foot, that wasn't happening tonight. So we called our communications center and requested that our station's truck company be dispatched to help us. We asked for them, one because we needed more manpower, and two because they had a special tarp with handles on it that could be used for moving a large man such as the one we had. They arrived, brought their tarp, and we proceeded with our plan. We laid him on the tarp and dragged him out of the apartment into the interior stairwell (Myself, the captain and one other man were able to drag him out to the living room. Thank you, Crossfit!). Once we got him into the stairwell, about eight of us grabbed all the handles of the tarp and carried him down to the cot (Thank you GOD we only had to go down one flight of stairs!). We had to special call an ambulance from Bethesda who had a cot specifically designed for extremely large patients. After some more moving, lifting and twisting, we got him onto the cot and into the ambulance. After we cleared the scene and made it back to the firehouse, I heard over the radio that another engine company and truck company were called to the hospital to help get the man out of the ambulance.

The whole time we were there, I felt several mixed emotions. How could this man let himself get so large? Didn't he know the danger he was putting himself and his family in? But I also felt sorry for him. He said himself that he knew he had a weight problem, and clearly he was not happy to be in the situation in the first place. I didn't know this man and I didn't know what circumstances led to him being that large. But I knew that he must have felt absolutely humiliated being drug out of his apartment like some dead animal because he couldn't move on his own. I can only imagine the embarrassment and shame he felt. In spite of the whole situation, he couldn't stop thanking us for helping him out. It was in that moment that I was reminded of why I took this job: to help others when they can't help themselves.

As we left the apartment, I said a prayer for that man and his family. May God give him whatever he needs to make a change for the better.

Paleo Challenge - Day 19

So today was another day of eating on the run. I had my driving class today for work, and I was coming from station 15. I think I did the best with what I had to work with (time, local restaurants, etc.)

Breakfast
- Two sausage patties and two egg patties from two Panera Sausage and Egg sandwiches
- Grapes, strawberries and pineapple from 7-11
- Banana from 7-11

Lunch
- Grilled chicken, two tomato slices and some lettuce from a Burger King sandwich

Dinner
- Lean hamburger patty w/ reduced sugar ketchup
Salad from home with:
- Lettuce
- Tomatoes
- Mushrooms
- Onions
- Red/green peppers

Dinner
Breakfast for dinner!
- Two eggs
- Jalapeno Chicken Sausage
- Apple

Paleo Diet - Day 18

Coming off of working yesterday evening and having to work today for 24 hours, I've had to eat out for all my meals. Definitely not ideal, but I'm doing my best to make it work.

Breakfast
- Two sausage patties and two egg patties from a 7-11 breakfast sandwich (I patted down the sausage patties to soak up some of the grease)
- Banana
- Grapes

Post-workout snack
- A few pineapple chunks

Lunch
Chipotle
- Double Chicken
- Grilled peppers/onions
- Lettuce
- Tomato salsa
- Green pepper salsa
- Hot red salsa
- Guacamole
(In the future, I probably don't need to get double chicken AND guac)
- A few pineapple chunks

Snack
- Two hamburger patties and a little mustard
- Apple

Dinner
- Chicken stir fry with various veggies
(The whole thing was drenched in soy sauce...I doubt this was a very paleo meal. Oh well)
- The rest of the pineapple chunks