Saturday, February 7, 2009

A Great Day with Dad


Today was one of those days that you wish you could have recorded, so when you're feeling down, you could watch the tape of this day and feel great.

I started things off by going to Panera Bread for some time to read the Bible. I had brought my computer along, which has all kinds of stickers on it, including a UM one. As I was reading, a guy sitting next to me asked if I was a UM student. I said I used to be. He then asked me if I was currently in AmeriCorps (I was wearing my AmeriCorps hoodie). I said I used to be. His wife had been in AmeriCorps, and that launched our conversation. His name was John and he was an engineer at NASA. We talked about a bunch of things, but one thing that stood out to me was his mentioning of how there really weren't too many places in the neighborhood for people to just casually meet; Panera was one of the few. He said that people in most neighborhoods don't interact that much anymore, and that leads to a reduced sense of community. Interactions almost always seemed to have to be planned for neighbors to interact anymore. Of course, it was a generalization, but I had to agree with him. It is rare that I see many of my own neighbors just out and about. Although, I must admit I rarely spend time just walking around my own neighborhood. Although, now that I have my bike, I plan on doing a lot more of that. In any case, John gave me a lot to think about in terms of building community.

Earlier this week, my dad had made a request for me to stop by Northwestern (the high school where he works) in my fire department dress uniform so he could "show me off" to many of his coworkers, to whom he had told many stories about me over the years. He wanted them to finally meet me and to see how I had progressed as a man. I was more than happy to do this. When I got there, we spent a couple hours walking around the school, meeting various teachers, administrators and other Northwestern staff, talking, shaking hands and having a good time. Two things about all this made me feel great: 1) the entire time we were speaking to people, my dad was just glowing with pride. 2) Every person we talked to had great things to say about my dad. It was obvious that he was well liked, well loved and well respected throughout the Northwestern staff. I had never felt more proud to be my father's son.

Also, as we walked around the building to meet various folks, my dad and I got to talk about the ins and outs of marriage. He told me how marriage involves merging your work life and your home life...merging them, but also trying to keep them separate. We talked about how communication between husband and wife is critical, and how each person had to find a way to meet the other's needs, even when meeting those needs may mean some sacrificing. It was great for me to hear all this, because my view of marriage had been so clouded by the physical aspect of marriage, that I had never given the appropriate thought to the every day workings of what makes a marriage really "work." My dad gave me a lot to think about, and I came away with a better appreciation of how much labor goes into a successful marriage.






After leaving Northwestern, I came back home and spent some time with my mom, dad and grandma. My grandma also gave me her take on what makes a successful marriage (she should know, after being together with my grandpa for 72 years!), and my dad and I continued our conversation. It was great...exactly what I needed and wanted.

In the evening, I went over to Brian and Desrene Sesay's place in Rockville, and we all got to talk about Jessie and I's relationship...where it's been, where it is and where it's going. This was also a great time; the Sesay's listened patiently and gave me some great advice as well. It was great not only getting some more Godly perspective on Jessie and I's situation, but getting to know Brian and Desrene better. They are a very open couple, and invited me to spend more time with them. I will definitely take them up on that.

Like I said...today was just one of those days I wish I could have DVR'd and saved for repeat viewing.

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